Speaking At The Facebook Developer Garage

One was part of the Speaker Panel at the Facebook Developer Garage held in Bangalore on the 28th of August at The Taj West End.

Having worked on building applications on the Open Social and the Facebook platforms, growing them to be among the top applications, building an active user base and monetizing the apps by running some interesting brand campaigns, I shared my experiences on treating applications as products and took the audience through the various stages of development and growth of these apps and the important elements involved in each of the stages.

It was a great experience sharing my thoughts and experiences with a very enthusiastic developer audience and sharing the panel with peers from the internet industry from companies like Facebook, Games2Win, Chakpak, Position2 and WeRead.

Below are some photos from the event -





































































































Here is my presentation from the event -
(Suggested full screen viewing)

Nikhil Kulkarni - Facebook Developer Garage Bangalore

View more presentations from Abhishek Goyal.

Dear Aniruddha Bahal, It's Not Funny

Dear Aniruddha Bahal,

Not a week passes in my life without I mentioning strongly recommending Bunker 13 to people I come across and who seem even remotely interested in reading among those. If I were deeply religious, one would have observed that I go back to Bunker 13 more often that I go to the religious texts. Of course, one needs the kind of madness that made MM the man he was. When I die, I will be glad that I introduced you and your writing to a lot of people around me. While I most eagerly look forward to another Bunker 13 and another MM from you, I really can't understand the need for you to invent Tony M at this moment. Yes, we Indians are starved for quality humour and what we are being served now does no justice to our discerning intellect, but I will remain skeptical of this attempt of yours till I watch the said show and find out if it really deserves you. Tehelka was excellent work and I admire you not only for what you brought to the rot to light, but also how you withstood all the persecution that followed. I really admire Shankar Sharma and Devina Mehra for the same. Please convey my best wishes to them and to Tarun as well. One need not look beyond you guys for inspiration on how to fight back in the face of all odds and come back and come back doubly strong. You started Cobrapost much before those of us in the web 2.0 infected world starting throwing about terms like RSS feeds and news aggregators. For all we know, Cobrapost might just take off and make a strong comeback if you spend more time on it that trying to humour us by being Tony Bhasand. And what is this? Is this what Aniruddha Bahal has become?

Is your absurd sense of humour your forte?

Humour is not the fort. If the truth in the joking then the peoples laughing and spreading all over out from the Naini fort on the river.

I really hope you and your publisher are working on another Bunker 13 and you won't disappoint your followers and readers. Maybe your following is a billionth of that of Sharukh Khan and you are not Arundhati Roy, reading whose work kids think they become intellectuals overnight and go around telling the entire world about it. We are you fans by choice, not by the lack of it. Hope you know that.



Maybe I'm over-reacting just on the ten questions you answered for the Outlook interview. But I hope you understand that you are at your best when you are either stinging or you are writing. And please don't meet Vipul Shah or Akshay Kumar, otherwise we'll soon be watching a movie titled Stingg is Kinng, with the unnecessary extra alphabets and there is also the threat of them wanting you to write the script.

Hope to see you back to writing soon.

Regards,
Nikhil


PS. I must mention here that I immensely enjoyed reading A Case of Exploding Mangoes. Just a note that you now have some competition in fiction writing about military, politicians, war, spying and espionage in the sub-continent.

Image Credit: Outlook

Welcome (to) Ashok Mishra

Just when we thought no one except Gulzaarsaab, Javedsaab, Kirkireji and to a certain extent Neelesh Mishra could write enjoyable songs for Hindi movies, we have a welcome addition to this honoured club. Let's extend a warm welcome to Ashok Mishra. Ashok Mishra debuts as a lyricist with Welcome to Sajjanpur. Forget all this nonsense about how the songs try and put the cool back in the gaon, or how the songs try and show that it's all happening in the hinterland, or even how the album really tries hard to bring out the latent “gaon-waala / gaon-waali” in all of us. Just sit back and take a good listen to the songs and I'm sure you will come round to appreciate the talent that Ashok Mishra is. And it definitely doesn't harm one's chances if he's in the good company of Swananand Kirkire and Shantanu Moitra and moreover for a Shyam Benegal movie. If I were to start writing songs for Hindi movies, this would be my dream team to start working with.



You can listen to the songs here or better still, buy the CD. Or download the songs and make sure you at least ten people around you listen to each song! My picks are Sita Ram, Aadmi Aazad Hai and Ek Meetha Marz De Ke.

PS. Found out that there was no Wikipedia entry for Ashok Mishra. Here's the page I've created. If you more information about this talented lyricist, please go ahead and add it to the page.

The Real Hero of Rock On !!

None of the following are the real heroes of Rock On!!

Farhan Akhtar

Arjun Rampal

Shahana Goswami

Prachi Desai

Javed Akhtar(Only he can write both - Zehreeley Zehreely Kaale Neele Peele and Jo Tum Ho Toh Hawa Mein Bhi Mohabbaton Ka Rang Hai with equal ease. Yes he wrote Dard-e-Disco.)

Jason West (He's the cinematographer)

Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy (As Ehsaan mentioned, it was just another jam session for them. Western music comes naturally to Ehsaan and Loy and I'm sure if ever there's a Rock On!! 2, they'l do much much much better.)

Ritesh Sidhwani (He does remain a hero for me, not only for this movie but also for the way he and Farhan have carried their friendship and passion to this level)

And not Purab Kohli, Luke Kenny or even Chakravyuh!

To me, the hero of Rock On!! is Anu Malik. Why, you ask? Because it takes something to play yourself in a role in which you know you are being ridiculed. Well, almost. Some of us know it as the ability to laugh at oneself. Perhaps that's Anu Malik's idea of laughing at himself. Hats off to you Anubhai!



PS. Hats off definitely, but I don't know about the wig inside the hat/cap!

Image Credit: www.radiosargam.com

Koel - Kahaan Gayi Teri Boli?

[Promise to myself - This is the first and last time that a post is entirely about a celebrity]

Maybe this post was supposed to be about Rock On!! Or it was supposed to be about my our music story or about Vajra, our college band comprising of Mrinabh, Joji, Chinsi and Shubam which I briefly managed during our final year. No, it's about none of them. Instead, turns out that it's about Koel Purie. I'm no style or fashion expert for I still don't understand all the brouhaha over Vidya Balan's sense of dressing or even the apparent lack of it and surely will never understand it. But I can definitely see how worn down Keol appears now, compared to her Everybody Says I'm Fine days.

Dear Koel,

Congratulations on your new TV show - On the Couch with Koel. Definitely helps when you have a father like him,, doesn't it?. If you are listening, can you please clarify this for us? Were you drunk or high on drugs while interviewing Salman Khan on your show? And what's with that forlorn look in Rock On!!? For God's, discerning viewers', your followers and my sake, you looked like Purab's mother in the movie! Did Niharika Khan have some evil designs for you?! Please take care of yourself and your appearances in forthcoming TV shows and movies. We are watching you. Hope you are listening to us.

Regards,
Nikhil

PS. Rock On!! is good. And sorry guys, I downloaded the songs. But then I have the lyrics of all songs except Zehreelay by heart and have made at least ten people around me listen to at least two songs each from the movie. Hope that makes it up for downloading the songs. I'd have been really glad if you guys made the album available for free download and recovered the money on the music by touring across the country and performing with Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy. That perhaps wouldn't be BIG money, but you'd have done more than your bit to promote good music in India and encouraged other musicians to try and work towards a better solution to end piracy.

PPS. Technically, this post still remains about Koel, right? Post scripts aren't considered a part of the main post, are they?

Hazaaron Khwahishein Nahin, Bas Ek Khwahish

Dear Kirkireji,

I hope you, like I do, believe that this is your best song till date. I do not say best song ever because I believe, hopefully you also do, that there are many more such gems to come from you, both as a writer and a singer. It hurts me no end when I see such a beautiful composition being trivialised by being used in a television commercial*. I understand that perhaps you did not have as much say as folks at Virgin Records or at PNC, but this is still something we find hard to digest. Not music to our ears, if I may say.

I earnestly request you not to hurt your fans henceforth by letting your songs, either sung or written, be used for purposes other than for reaching musical ecstasy. Yes, there's an odd aberration like this one, but we know you're back in tune after this. Your songs, like this one, are music lovers' secrets, and only those in the know of it really understand how valuable they are. Please let them remain that way.

Please convey my regards to Jhingranji, Shantanuda and Mishraji.

Regards,
Nikhil

* The television commercial in question is the new Airtel+Nokia ad featuring Abhay Deol and Raima Sen. Glad that it's not up on YouTube yet. Glad that I'm not linking to it from my blog.

Happy Independence Day - II

I only have this to say. If it takes a jazzed up version of the National Anthem to market our national anthem to our youths , then God save our country instead of the Queen. Maybe I am a little old-school, finding such an experiment with our National Anthem hard to digest. I'm definitely not against any form of display of patriotism that happens these days, which is nothing but wonderfully disguised marketing campaigns, but this one is taking it a bit too far. There's a sense of aesthetics associated with any National Anthem and this new experiment trivializes that feeling. At 00:43, it has to be Gaahe Tava Jaya Gaatha and not Gaaye Tava Jaya Gaatha. If one's looking for a mistake, there you go. That's one for you. All the best Nokia, may you have more youth, feeling all the more patriotic, thanks to your initiative download more ringtones and buy more phones from you. All the best MTV. And Thank You for reminding our youth that we have a National Anthem. Be glad India, your youth have finally found you, thanks to MTV and Nokia.

Happy Independence Day

So it will be a Happy Independence Day after all. The Box Office is keeping producers of this movie happy and that the lead character's name is Happy is only, well, a happy co-incidence.

Abhinav Bindra's win at Beijing has exhausted all possible phrases with the word gold in it. With so many (more) news channels and newspapers(and some more) around, no wonder everything looks and sounds the same. So this Independence Day, all of India, which, to the news channels consists of everyone in their air-conditioned, glass-walled news studios and those whose who overwhelm them with text messages and emails will celebrate the arrival of India on the world scene (Have you already forgotten the nuclear deal?) and the emergence of a confident, self-assured youth here in India. Thank you Abhinav, if not for you, we'd have had a very gloomy Independence Day celebration or so our newsmen and women would have liked us to believe. Left with nothing but the increasing inflation and rising costs, they would have perhaps shed a tear or two(damn, it's already raining, why add to people's misery?) about the floods down South or would've gone on about how freedom is not all that happy as a certain government is making others dance to its tunes, rather not to dance to any tunes.

Rabbi's second album is out and Bilqis(Jinhe Naaz Hai) perhaps captures my sentiments best. I still remember talking about the short public memory with Sap while the Satyendra Dubey episode was making the headlines and I now wonder if any of us still remembers him. What I did not know was about Navleen Kumar. A social worker fighting for the land rights of tribals in Nallasopara, Thane District, she died on receiving 19 stabs on June 19, 2000. She was fighting against the powerful Thakur family which has built nothing less than an empire in those parts of the Mumbai suburbs. Strange enough that I did not come across this earlier, as Nallasopara is very close to Boisar which I (used to) visit quite often. Rabbi remembers her in Bilqis(Jinhe Naaz Hai) along with Shanmugan Manjunath and Bilqis Bano. Here's the video -




We're still a young country and have a long way to go. And long way in the life time of a country usually means centuries. Neither are we going to rule the world tomorrow nor will we cease to exist as a country the day after. Someone please go tell that to our media persons. Or am I asking for too much from them? What the hell, I'm free to think and wish in this country and that remains my wish for this Independence Day. That we try and nip this obsessive celebrity following and excessive consumerism in the bud or we'll end up as something else. Now, that's for another post. Enjoy the extended weekend. Did someone say Independence Day? What's that? Isn't that on July 4?

IAF Open To Women In Jet Cockpit

Ok, read the, between or beyond the following lines, I'm just reproducing (pun maybe intended) the piece from today's edition of Deccan Herald. I hope it helps in bringing about world peace and reducing poverty and global warming. Thank you.

Italics are my emphasis.


IAF Open To Women In Jet Cockpit

New Delhi, PTI: The long-cherished dream of women entering the male bastion of flying jet fighters may finally come true with IAF Chief F H Major saying the force is open to the idea of allowing the fairer sex donning the frontline combat role.

Women in the Indian Air Force were doing a "good job" and there was no reason why they would not be able to fly combat aircraft in future, Major said on Wednesday.

Replying to a question on whether IAF will have women fighter pilots in future, Major said, "Why not! The women in IAF are doing a good job."

Asked whether IAF was considering any proposal in this regard, he said, "No proposal is under consideration right now. We will have to give a lot of thought on it."

The Indian Air Force has over 700 women officers in non-combatant roles.



Crossposted on Linkosarcoma.

Don't Blame That Miss Teen South Carolina Contestant

Now this is something we're more than familiar with.



Maybe this video will help us put that into perspective.



On a slightly related note, I'm a little skeptical of Rupert Murdoch's continued domination of the media world over.

Chess Olympiad Teams Will Be Topless

How scandalous? And it's the Indian Chess teams we're talking about.

Are they making the right moves? Will they get pwned? Will they find out what is it to be a knight rider? All puns intended. Read on.

Chess Olympiad Teams Will Be Topless

Thank You DNA and congratulations. You win today's battle for the most absurd news-story/news headline. But you still have a long way to go before you even think of getting close to CNN-IBN. All the best!

Bhagawan Aaye Cycle Se

No wonder it won the Bronze at Cannes.



Crossposted on OrangeGlass.

More CNN-IBNonsense

It's not everyday On IBNlive, it's everyday that one comes across news stories of varying ridiculous proportions, but one of today's headlines is definitely out of the box, the sort that sees a hand with a boxing glove come out of the box(idiot, if TV or a flat box, if it's a laptop screen) and punches you straight in the face. Dear Copy Editor at IBNlive, if you objective was to capture my attention, congratulations, you have succeeded. But if your objective was to make me take seriously what you folks at CNN-IBN/IBNlive say/write , I'm sorry, I won't from now on. Here's the head line and the piece following it. Emphasis mine.

Should the N-deal be seen as anti-Muslim?

A day ahead of the crucial meeting between the Left and the UPA Government, CPM politburo member and trade union leader M K Pandhe claimed Muslims are against the Indo-US nuclear deal. CPM leader Prakash Karat attended Shia rally in Uttar Pradesh to protest against India's vote against Iran at the IAEA as well as George Bush's visit to India. Analysts say the Left must not bring religious sentiments into foreign policy issues.


Thank God for the analysts, we'd otherwise have some serious trouble in our foreign relations with Azerbaijan during Diwali or a sudden thaw in relations with Mongolia during Ganesh Chaturthi. Religious sentiments are high during those times, you see.

More CNN-IBN fun.

Via Darjeeling and The Darjeeling Limited

Two movies I'm looking forward to watch in some time - Via Darjeeling and The Darjeeling Limited.




Via Darjeeling comes from Arindam Nandy and has a very impressive star cast with an interesting story-line. More from Arindam Nandy on Via Darjeeling. Heartening to see NFDC (back to?)backing projects like these.


The Darjeeling Limited sounds a lot like Asiawheeling. Promises to be an interesting ride. I'm not sure which character from the movie would Scott, Woody and I be parallel to during Asiawheeling, but I'm more than sure that we could make a movie, nothing less, out of our experiences from Asiawheeling.

A couple of movies, of course, are waiting to be made out of my own trip to Darjeeling. Not to forget Gangtok, Kurseong, Siliguri, Kolkata, and Bhutan, and Nepal!

Viva la Vida and Brian Eno

Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends sees the coming together of two brilliant brains, Coldplay and Brian Eno. Having briefly worked with Coldplay on their last album X&Y, Brian Eno has gone on to produce Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends for them. And by the looks and the listens of it, and as Guy Berryman mentions in the interview to Rolling Stones, they've gone into exploring newer territories and they've come up trumps. It might take a while for the music to be digested, but once it is, it just gets into the system smoothly.

Coldplay performing Viva la Vida at the MTV Movie Awards 2008



Rolling Stones India



It needs another blog post to do justice to the genius that Brian Eno is, but I was introduced to him through this song from The Son's Room. I can not remember a more perfect use of a song in a movie.

Here's the song -

Good Will Hunting Fucking Short Version

Ok, I'm not able to decide which one is better of the two - the movie Good Will Hunting or the following Fucking Short Version. Can you please help me decide?




The movie is excellent no doubt, and I was pleasantly surprised to know that Matt Damon and Ben Affleck wrote the screenplay and went on to win the Academy and the Golden Globe Awards for the Best Original Screenplay. That's some really good talent, and I'm glad they've gone on to do much better with their movie careers following Good Will Hunting. Have been following movie soundtracks more closely these days and a very poignant Miss Misery by Elliot Smith comes on as the credits roll in the end. Sad to know that it lost to My Heart Will Go Yawn On from Titanic for the Academy Award for Best Original Song. Even sadder that like many other gifted musicians, Elliot Smith ended his life at 34 under what else, mysterious circumstances. Hope you're doing well wherever you are Mr. Smith, there will be a lot of listens to songs in your whispery, spiderweb-thin delivery style in the coming days.

While we're on the movie, lucky are those of who have Chuckies, Seans and Prof. Lambeaus in believe in ourselves more that we believe ourselves. Sonofabitch, he stole our line, the producers of the movie would say. No wonder since the tag line of the movie goes - Some people can never believe in themselves, until someone believes in them. That's perhaps the best line of the movie - Sonofabitch, he stole my line. No, wait. There's something that tops it - I gotta go see about a girl!

Mr. Cock-a-lock

Hail buffalax and Benny Lava, aka Prabhudeva in India! Here's more on the geniuses.

The original Benny Lava video by buffalax!




Oh, and I did not know Urvasi could also become this!



Polly's bum for fantasty, ah!

Polls In Karnataka - A Quick Note

As someone who follows Indian politics very closely, it is a tad disappointing that I haven't been able to follow the build-up to the elections in Karnataka as closely as I'd have liked. But still an opinion or two, or perhaps a couple more. Contrary to what these people have to say, the Congress will not get a majority. In my opinion, no party will. The Congress used the revision of electoral rolls as as an intelligent tactic to delay the elections, and this will definitely not help the BJP ride the sympathy wave. Nevertheless, the sympathy is still there and the BJP will gain from it. According to me, the tally will more or less remain the same as in the previous election. The BJP and the Congress will get a few more seats at the expense of JD(S) and others like JD(U), SP and the BSP will just be making a guest appearance in the analysis of the experts sitting in their air-conditioned studios. Good luck to you guys, hope you get higher TRPs and have more people believe that what you say is actually true. Just a small note, Karnataka is not just Bangalore. There are other regions which are part of Karnataka and people living there are also part of Karnataka.

More as the elections progress.

The Best Band Name Ever

Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin.

Yes, that's the name of the band. Well guys, you love Boris Yeltsin and we love your naming abilities. Though SSLYBY comes very close to beating !Xobile as the most ingenious name, !Xobile still takes the cake, or the click rather.



From Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin's Wikipedia page -

Will Knauer and Philip Dickey were mutual high school friends, growing up in Springfield. Phil and Will were in different bands that both "tried to sound like Nirvana."[1] After Will and Phil's high school bands broke up (Wharf and Thinking Vision, respectively), the two started playing together on Weller Street and Phil came up with the new name.[2]

The new songs needed a new band name, so we chose something really dumb, because we were only practicing in Will's attic. There were 2 girls who would watch us practice and I wanted to make them laugh...and I wanted the guys in Wharf to laugh...so that's when I came up with Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin. Boris Yeltsin recently resigned and I was 17.

Check out SSLYBY on

MySpace
Last.fm


Won't it be fun to have band names on Indian politicians? Here are a few -

I have a crush on you Mayawati. [NO, not me]
We're are in awe of your pause Atalji. [Yawn, rather]
More as they come.

Bliss - Dil Indeed Dance Maare Re

It has always been my dream to make a song like this. Write it, get someone to put the song to music and shoot it. But I'm glad one among Piyush Mishra, Vishal Dadlani, Anvita Dutt Guptan or Kausar Munir(from what I gather, Vishal it is) wrote a masterpiece like this and Vishal-Shekhar gave such wonderful desi music. And Uditji, your rendition of even the word sasura is amazing indeed. Thank you Yashji and Adi for letting Vijay Krishna Acharya do this.

My favourite lines -

Rose Ke Jaisan Pink Pink Hamare Gaal Gulaabi
Sky Ke Jaisan Blue Blue Yeh Tohra Nain Saraabi
Bhola Chehra Jaise Moon, Kaali Julfe Jaise Cloud
Abb Na Aur Chhupaaya Jaaye, dhadkan Ho Gayi bhery loud

Now to the masterpiece -



PS. What if someone achieved my dream? I can always do better!