Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Are You Really That Hot Then? Curious Incidents In The Life Time

Are You Really That Hot Then?

Location: Aboard AI 620, Mumbai to Bangalore.
Time: Between 2:15 and 2:30 am.
Date: January 17, 2009.
Feeling before the incident: One of immense relief having reached the airport only minutes before the departure and miraculously enough, being able to clear the security, customs and the immigration check (Yes, it was a domestic flight. But since it was Air India, the boarding was from the international terminal and hence the customs and the immigration checks). And why not miracle, for I had met God himself just before reaching the Airport. And I am sure that the miracle was only because I had met God and not Cyrus Sahukar. Yes, this gentleman. A gentleman, he indeed is.

Story Before The Story:
Dear God insisted that I visit him in Chembur, fully aware ignorant of the fact that I had reached Bombay at around midnight after a tiring, but very enjoyable trip to Bhopal and that the next flight to Bangalore was only an hour and a half from then. And when Inshah Allah and one suggested that we meet at Hiranandani, we were told by God that Chembur is only 20 minutes from Hiranandani and that we should immediately head to Chembur. And the plan of action from then on was straightforward. Listen to whatever God says - check. Agree to whatever God says - check. Do whatever God asks you to - check. I don't know what means of transport God uses to reach Chembur from Hiranandani in 20 minutes, and please don't tell him this, it took us at least 12 minutes to find an autorickshaw-wallah who would take us at that unGodly hour.

Masha Allah
was not able to make it to the meeting with God as he was busy vodka pastry* eating and doing what not-ing with God knows who(oh, God definitely knows everything!) at Theobroma. Anyway, through a Facebook photo comment later, he informed us that he had to go to office early the next morning and hoped that Inshah Allah compensated for volume. Compensate, Inshah Allah did. But what about mass and density, Mashah Allah?

And then God worshipping and receiving blessings happened, which included ending up as the last customers in a restaurant cum bar (zyaada) and eating more than the money we had to pay. The restaurant owner taking pity on us (what else could he take out , not his anger definitely. After all, God was with us) and giving us 30 rupees to be able to pay for the auto.

We returned to heaven, picked up my luggage and headed to the Airport. Inshah Allah got down at Vikhroli leaving me and the auto-wallah to calculate the probability of reaching the airport on time before the flight took off.

Then, with a miracle leaving me feel very blessed for spending that time with God, I was able to board the aircraft.

The Story:

I will not say that the Air India air hostesses are nothing much to write about. There is lots to write about, but then maybe that is not something you would not be interested in. But there is something about all air hostesses I would like to write. Looks like the passengers they hate the most are the male passengers (guests, if you are flying FingKisser) in their early 20s and traveling alone. I feel miserable for making them feel miserable. The worst thing one can do to another person is not acknowledge the other person's presence and I credit the air hostesses for giving me this insight. Sad part though, is that I was and still continue to be at the receiving end. Not receiving perhaps, their attention that is.

Leave alone free snacks or meals, except for a few toffees, the air hostesses don't give you any attention on the Mumbai-Bangalore route. (Another matter that it's the same case on all routes!). So I was pleasantly surprised when the AI airhostess woke me up to serve tea and biscuits. I was tired and it took me a while to register what the lady was saying to me. Then, I realised that she was serving tea and was asking me to hold the cup - plastic, with a handle. Used to holding the cup the way I used to, I did not hold the cup by the handle. While I was pleasantly surprised that she was able to tolerate me for that long, I sensed that her patience was wearing thin. 'It is fine, serve me the tea', I said. Still, managing to maintain her calm^, she said, 'Sir, I will burn your fingers with the tea'. Then, in a moment of sheer genius, one said,'Oh, is it? Are you really that hot then?'.

If looks could kill, I would not be writing this post.

I am glad that
- looks don't actually kill.
- she din't have me thrown of the plane mid-air.
- she din't have me arrested after we landed in Bangalore
- I met God in Bombay.

* Mashah Allah, pardon my memory and lack of sophistication and propriety. I know it's name is not exactly the Vodka Pastry. What is it? How is Theobroma doing now? Do you still Page 3 there? Are you alive?
^ She has to maintain her calm because it is her kaam. Work kaam, not desire kaam.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Hello, Is There Anybody In There?

Really, does anyone *still* come and visit this blog? If you do, please let me know. I shall make a shrine for you In My Place. Really, I will.

Regular blogging will (hopefully) resume soon. A fair amount of traveling, reading, writing, listening to music, movie watching, cooking, eating, sleeping has happened in the meanwhile. I'm stopping. I go any further and I know a fair amount of boring and subsequently, killing will also happen.

Keep making things happen.