Sunday, April 30, 2006

What can exams do to you?! and The End

1. What can exams do to you?!

Our faculty have some sense of humour.They conduct exams.The fun though, still continues during exams with added abandon and disdain because these will be the last engineering exams of our lives.Exams are also funny in a different sort of way. People become different. The funny ones become serious, the serious ones become even more serious, desperate ones becomes frustrated, the normally frustrated ones become funny and philosophical.

We're generally pretty much insane, but that extra bit of sanity creeps in during exams which makes life horrible for people around us and for you, because you have to read this nonsense!

Ok,this is what exams can do to you

1. You are so hungry and lost, that you gobble of fistful of white powder offered to you in a glucose pack, only to realise that it was Surf Excel. What the heck, it cle aned my digestive system!

2. You go to all neighbouring rooms, crash into the door and then ask the startled fellow -"Mooh me liya kya?!".
That by the way, is an euphimism for "Khaana khaaya kya?!

3. Try your hand at matchmaking on Orkut. Try pairing a long(he's short!) lost school friend( this hunk with his long(maybe she's long!) long lost school friend. They scrappily lived ever after!(But then, Orkut is a very small aspect of a whole new sweeping revolution called Web 2.0. I have to come out with that post on 'Web 2.0 for dummies' with so many people asking me about my obsession,optimism,excitement and bullishness on Web 2.0. Watch the short flash film on Then probably you'll concur with me!)

4. Go bonkers about the long long lost friend's long long lost friend . The LLF's LLF happens to be a singer and now that I'm officially a member of a music band named '!Xobile', my interest in her was only natural. Also, we had this subject where we had to study cyber-stalking,cyber-crime et al, I thought some practical preparation would do no harm!!

5. For three hours and twenty seven minutes everyday, your only aim in life is marrying either Roopa Purushotheman or Kaavya Vishwanathan. What is the former has now quit high profile Goldman Sachs and joined Pantaloons or what if the latter has been caught plagiarising. They are South Indians, well-educated and look pretty. What more can anyone ask for?!. But then the hunk mentioned above recommends N R Narayan Murthy's daughter Akshata doing MBA at Stanford. Just perfect, a Kannadiga as well. Too many choices, tough to decide.

6. Listen to Stacy's Mom, What I go to schol for, fashion show videos of our college incessantly to get refreshed and watch Family Guy all through the day with Harsha. The show just suits our humour fine. Senseless, outrageous, yet peculiarly funny. Because that is the only preparation for the exam, use the word 'Quagmire' in the exam, go out to drink water during the exam, laugh your heart out on your achievement, leave the exam hall fifteen minutes early so that you could come back and watch rest of the episodes!

Sample Quagmire(a character from Family Guy):

Brian: Ugh, I can't beileve you're serving a three year sentence, it seems so harsh.
Lois: Well, the only upside is that it's given me time to think about why I ended up in here. I guess I was stealin' because I was so sick of the same old routine. I felt like I had a void in my life, like, like, there was a secret hole in me...
Quagmire: Oh God!
Lois:...and I was tryin' to fill that hole with all kinds of expensive objects, and things...
Quagmire: Oh God!!!
Lois: ...and I felt wonderful with all those things fillin' that hole.
Quagmire: Oh God!!!!!!
Lois: I did this to myself, so I'm just gonna have to lay back and let the penal system teach me a lesson.
Quagmire: That one is also sexual.

7. You being appreciating and applauding(loudly,in a coffee shop) fundas like:
The custom of doing 'cheers' comes from this 16th century practice when warring parties after a cease-fire would make peace and get together for a drink. So clear any suspicions of the other party poisoning your drink, you strike each other's glass so that the liquid spills over and you make the other person drink as well.

8. Have conversations like the one that follows on GTalk with Akshay :
omikron441: the past tense for IPOD, if it isnt the word itself cud be..IPEED?
gud mornin
me:that would be music to a centipede's ears!!
omikron441: or a human with bladder disfunction
me:stop bladdering nonsense..
omikron441: sorry peelease
me: shit up...
omikron441: piss off
me: you're taking this too fart...
omikron441: oh u wanna go back to crappin ppl on orkut?
k now i gotta goo
pee u l8r
me: pee you later as well..
omikron441: best of luck for 2morro's (toilet) paper

I still have two more exams to go and then it'll be The End

2. The End

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end

- The End
The Doors

No song could be more apt than this one to describe my present state. In a few days, it'll be good bye to engineering and we'll all be jumping into the big bad 'real' world. Nostalgia's abound,silliest of the things find associations with something in the past. I won't go on a harangue on how these were the best days of our lives et al. Yes, we have done pretty well. Hitesh getting into MDI,Bharath into IISc (he will),my decision of not getting into software(more on this coming soon!) have proved that we are definitely a notch or half a notch above the rest. Personally, I would only say that, it's been one hell of a journey from someone who had not heard of Enid Blyton or Age of Empires to someone who today bemoans lack of people around him whom he could discuss about The Last Song of Dusk or talk about Web 2.0. Will definitely write about that someday.

Tomorrow, I won't be having this laptop. Will have to return it to my boyfriend,Jayanth. I don't have any miss to miss here. But apart from a few other things, what I'll miss the most is the LAN and this fanatstic internet connection!!


sixtyfourarts said...

the blue bus is waitin u bastard get on it quickly

Arjun Sharma said...

Enid who?

Arjun Sharma said...

He he, guys really can't let go of toilet humour, can we? Guess people'll just have to ac-commode-ate it.

How else would you craption an iPod?

Nikhil said...

it was funny,definitely,yes it is.
he heh heheh hehe
[Peter ishtlye]


Enid?! Must be some guy whom children read;)

Nikhil said...


A commode date?!Would you?!

Ipod?No puk(e)ka ideas.

Tweaky said...

it was as shitty as it gets...still something we tend to enjoy. how strange!
btw, enid happens to be gal

Nikhil said...

@Tweaky a.k.a Hutch
We couldn't control, you see!

Idiot, it was you who told me Enid was a gal in Narmad that day.

Notice the itilicized guy.

I was feigning ignorance.

anubhav said...

where does the blue bus go...

Ellie said...

Hey....a very entertainin post!!

Would it offend u if I say after a long time??[:p]

junglebellows said...

giggedy giggedy goo...

this conversation had me reminiscing abt the 'other' conversation :-D

and the design below is of a tantra TEE..u shd hv come across it ...

(picture of a commode with musical notes emanating)

(and below it is the caption)


Nikhil said...

Ask Harsha!

Yeah, long time I know.
But it was worth the wait,wasn't it?!
Entertaining?! It IS reality!
[As if people are waiting with bated breath for my blog posts!!]

@Bellows/ Skunk

That was one hell of a conversation.Must be somewhere on this blog. Will post the Best of Quirkymurmur soon. That has to make it.

funster said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
funster said...

i gave this quirk whos is 'doing' since a month a mrs call today...

c'mon dude(now how many micro seconds), last few days left, you have to roll it up, you have to be 'done' with everything, even the conversations like you've posted here.... you'll miss all this, indeed we'll miss all this......

Meghna said...

LMAO! nice one..

Nikhil said...


Yeah, will miss, true.
But won't stop.
Though it'll be intermittent and somewhat sub'dude'?!

Thanks for Lau.......... Off!

Hello!Are you the same Meghna?!

Trinity Teal™ said...

hello potholer saaheb!
luks lik some ij gettiin too much peelingzz n stuff ... and ya eggjams can do stuff to ppl only if ya take it srsly ... mostly i dont give smstrs the same respect as sessionals!! :P

Nikhil said...


Ohk, you're talking of the star sirius?!

Too much pheeligj yaand aaal?!

Thyaat post eej yet to come!!!

Partha said...

Hey gr8 post dude!!!
Enjoyed.. after all SE ke liye kuch padhne ka mann nahin kar raha hai..

Nikhil said...


Thanks...SE ke liye toh mast time hai na..

Jeevan Baretto said...

Magane Reliance bagge mention madialla...!! isn't it an achievement..??

ANKIT said...

hi there,,,

a hillarious post,,,
and yeh i heard the song,,i really liked the keyboard stuff played in it and the way the song opens in the starting..,,,superb attempt sir..kudos!

Handa said...

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyy..... "!xobile" is my quizzing team's name.... now who is plagiarizing :P

vandana said...

hello nikhil

wow i must say lots of things but...on the phone..if i write all this down ..well my fingers will pain

great clarity of thought and frankness

keep it up


Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it!
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