Wednesday, July 04, 2007

All The Presidents Were Men

Ah yes, tried playing on this. As I cleared my Deep Throat, I felt the definite need for it.

With our Presidential election having come down to the streets, we, the villagers of Domlur couldn't be far away from it. Now that there looks to be a distinct possibility of Shrimati Pratibha Patil Shekhawat becoming our President, the grandmother in our neighbourhood remarked - 'Nodi, Ee kaaladalli hennu makkalu yaariginthanoo kadime illa. Namma Mahila Mandalada Presidentoo hennu magale, eega deshada Rasthrapatinpoo hennu magale'. Meaning - See, women are second to none. The President of our Women's Club is also a woman and now, the President of our country will also be a woman. Just that, the President of the Domlur Women's Club(if such a thing exists) has to be a women. Oh yeah, the grandmother part is definitely made up. Do not take anyone in our Domlur for granted. And do not take Domlur itself for granted. Nothing less, it has a Wikipedia entry.

What makes me feel sad is that a lot of people enjoy such nonsense, they're missing out on much better fun - our Presidential election. Reading about this in the newspapers, hearing about it and watching about it in these news channels, with these pretty dumb things on air, is immense fun. For example, let's start taking everything they say literally. Pratibha lashes at critics. Imagine our future President with a whip and lashing her critcs, and they squealing on every lash. Or even if you take the phrases that these guys and pretty dumb girls generally use, mud slinging, for example. Imagine Shri Advani and co. on one side and Mrs. Gandhi and co. with Comrade Karat and co. to her Left (and no one to their left, because they are the Left) throwing mud at each other and the winning party candidate becoming the President. Wake up and realise, it is for nothing that they call this dirty politics. Huh, the Dhobis in Delhi will have a nice time.

It was not long back that the Left propped up Capt. Laskhmi Sehgal against the joint Congress-BJP candidate Dr. Kalam. Things have changed and how. And again, it is not without reason that they say politics makes strange bed-fellows. Now, taking that literally would be taking it a little too far, no? No wait, this piece in Outlook will make that clear as well -

Shalini Sharma, close to Shekhawat when he was Rajasthan CM, was accused of supplying women to powerful BJP ministers. Shalini was made VP of the state social welfare board by the Shekhawat regime.

The Congress and the Left would think they've effectively checkmated Shri. Shekhawat's chances by fielding Shrimati Patil Shekhawat. Fielding of course, in the cricketing sense, can add lot of fun too. Imagine Ahmed Patel running to 10, Janpath, panting heavily and breaking the news to Soniaji - 'Madam, we've caught Shrimati Patil'. Mrs. Gandhi will say - 'Good fielding Mr. Patel'.

So while those supporting her will think they've checkmated the NDA and allies by choosing Shrimati Shekhawat Patil to be their candidate, imagine what will she say to Shri Shekhawat(not her husband Mr. Shekhawat, of course) if they were to come face to face. 'Shekhawatji, check my mate - he's a Shekhawat too!' Huh, killing two birds with one stone. Take it literally? Not quite, we're non-violent people.

So while there can be birds, can horses be far behind? No wonder we hear about horse-trading around such events.

To me, the first memories of President of our country will always be Dr. Shankar Dayal Sharma in his penguin-like walking style taking rounds of the different ghats laying wreaths to pay respects to our departed leaders. Such fun, those days were. Geetanjali Iyer, Usha Albuquerque, Minu, Avinash Kaur Sareen, Neeti Ravindran and I can go on listing those wonderful DD news readers. And man, the Sukanya Balakrishnan. And now you have these pretty dumb things. And yes, not to forget those commentaries during the Republic Day and Independence Day parades. And now you have these pretty dumb things.

And as far as the Prez election goes(hate the use of the Prez term as much as the pretty dumb things), I'll be happy if Mughal Gardens gets a good care-taker. Hoping Mr. Shekhawat(either of the two) will take good care of the wonderful flora there. The President's post was for someone scholarly, someone erudite, someone who is a true ambassador of India and someone who brought a lot of dignity to the post. Was, is the word now. For all the talk of a woman President or a masses man becoming our President, as a nation and as a political system I was quite proud of, we've lost something along the way. Sad.


Ayanonymous said...

u omitted the most obvious one - rubber stamp. Imagine Patil Bai shouting at the two bickering houses of parliament - hurry up u nincompoops! the ink wont stay wet for long and my bhuna baingan will turn into a jalaa baingan, which I promise u I will make the leaders of the main parties eat!!

Harish said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Balaji R Sharma said...

Timely post.. agree with Ayanobhai here..gender equality even for rubber stamps now. Someone like Kalam deserved a second term, and all this political bickering has done no good to the 'highest office in the country'. A shame.."Pratibha Patil wins the battle of sexes, and Shekhawats". Taj Mahal is the wonder of wonders.. highest votes. Yeah, whatever.

Harish said...

Yes, if anybody lost the fun involved in the Presidential elections by reading about the "New Seven Wonders Contest", inarguably the biggest fraud in recent history, you can only be sympathetic about them. And I can't but laugh at all those who voted on that poll.

Sandeep said...

Dude ..bumped in here thru one of em links frm google, when i was greppin for one of DD newsreader chicas...

Must say I did enjoy readin this post!